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Anonymous asked:

please describe what it is like to live in the us??


every morning my alarm gun wakes me up by firing directly over my head and if i dont immediately get up and sing the star spangled banner i get arrested. all matters in court are settled with opponents dressing up in bald eagle costumes and fighting to the death. theres an american flag tattooed across my face. once i saw someone get punched in the head repeatedly at a barbeque because they said they didnt like apple pie and nobody helped them. nobody even tried




Here’s a fun little trick: take children’s clothes, dip them in water and hold them in place until they freeze like this. When the weather starts to get a little warmer, the invisible children slowly melt to the ground. 

I can sense a million new horror pranks or new ideas for creepy stories this way. 

Wow, thanks there Satan.

Y̜͎͖͔O̘͚͖̩̰͚̗͢U͢’̨̯̞̰̖̥̜R̶E̷͚̼͇̳̙̻̞ ̣͎͖̟̥Ẃ͇͖̪Ȩ̞L̨̬̳C͠O͍̪M̮͎̯͞E͈̖̗͇͉

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